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What the hang is it?!?

What the fuck is grief?

I'm not sure if I can swear on here but this is meant to be real so why not right? And who doesn't want to swear at grief?!? There will be a lot of profanities on ART CRATE I am sure.

One thing I've learnt is grief is up and down. One day it's bloody hard, the next it's okay you feel like you can catch your breath. One day you can't look at anyone without crying and the next it feels like you want to have a wine and forget. It's akin to being put in a washing machine and hoping the spin cycle doesn't last long.

I can say that grief first hit my life in a profound way with the loss of my sister. That was over twenty years ago and the imprint is still there, so catching new grief take hold really makes you question your strengths some days.

Covid kicked our asses right?

The recession has put us in a spin cycle....

When grief hit my life in two ways over this year I realised a depletion of my soul that I did not know was possible. Nothing truly bloody humbles you like trying to get through a design session when the realities of death are staring you right in the face asking you to slow down and recognise how precious life is.

One thing that keeps me going through this though, and is directly related to my practice is my belief of what happens after we move on. I truly do have a strong faith that when we pass we go somewhere much more profound than here and we still have a connection to this realm and the people who are here. WAIRUA one of my first collection was all about the connections of spirit and the beautiful connections we have from this world into the next.

I also have a strong belief in slowing down, taking time, commencing your breath and connecting to your WAIRUA while you are here. Something which covid really made me realise, and which I need to consistently remind myself has such immense value.

I think for me having something such as art really allowed me to process my grief and my happiness in a different way. When I paint it allows me to process without feeling the complete extent of the grief, or the situation which I am processing but experiencing it all on an unconscious level if that makes sense.

In a way when I create especially something expressive and without any attachment to it being perfect or beautiful or looking just so, I give my body the space immersing itself in an energy that just flows, while sort of going into a medative state in my mind where it just becomes whatever the page wants. It is akin to breathing or deep breath exercises because you take yourself into another state.

In that sense, there lies the reason I have so much passion for creative expressive journalling which I am advocating so strongly here.

I have felt the benefits of this on a cellular level and it is that which is far more powerful than the art of art itself. And that is why I launched ART CRATE and expressive art classes for people to purchase and journal if they also want to take themselves into this space in order to find some 'quiet' in a time of healing.

This is the part of my practice that isn't about money, the classes are created to be super affordable. But the place I hopefully provide some universal value to even just one person.

Grief will always be here, in everyone's lives unfortunately but when we engage in healing practices throughout it can be a catalyst for profound incredibly change in our lives. I always say my sister taught me the biggest lessons in life and I truly believe that. Today I share that gift with others that it can hopefully help.




An excerpt I stole from a family members post.

"Nanny what is Wairua?" The child asked

Wairua, my Moko is what gives us life, handed down to us from a time past.

At the moment of your beggining, you shared with me the Wairua of our Tipuna; for I am the link to your past.

And you are my link with the future.

The Aroha of the Whanau has Wairua, and their words, their laughter, their tears, the Marae, tangi, Waiata, and Whakapapa, have a Wairua that strengthens us, gives us pride.

So to the sunrise, and sunset, the soft summer rain, the raging storms, the song of the birds in the trees, the waves on the beach, the mist rising from the bush, the moonlight on the water, and the embracing of the night.

To sit quietly in the Wharenui or the Urupa and feel the precense of your Tipuna, is to feel Wairua.

Your arms around my neck, your breath on my cheek, fills me with special Wairua, for there is special Wairua in all things that gives meaning to life, to look forward to, in the future.

So Moko open your mind,

Let your heart love,

Let your eyes see,

Your ears hear,

Your hands feel,

Give of yourself, my moko

For in giving you receive,

and the WAIRUA grows.




#emotions #art #artjournalling

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