The Art of getting to know your true self
Being an artist is like getting a bikini wax. (disclaimer those are not my underwear).
So this is my first post about all things personal. It may or may not serve you. You might read it and think what a load of garbage. The really interesting thing about being an artist is there is always an opinion of you either way, so you really need to get some thick skin...and fast.
I thought long and hard about introducing CRATE ART to Tamaasa. It is hard to be vulnerable with people. And I really do mean it when I say being an artist is like getting a bikini wax.
Everything you paint or create has meaning, well for me it does anyway, and everyone ultimately has an opinion. So it is akin to putting your whole self out there and just hoping, and crossing your fingers that someone doesn't hate it.
My journey of art started with grief....and well lets be honest grief isn't pretty. It is like airing your dirty laundry.
Grief is hard, and it is raw, and it is ugly. It isn't a bright conversation starter, or a wonderful over coffee musing, but it is real and unfortunately everyone experiences it at one point or another. And while it gets better sometimes, or worse sometimes, you ultimately can't escape it, you have to work through it, and while you do, you have to give yourself the time to fall apart and be ugly.
This year grief, in a multitude of ways has unfortunately entered my life once again, and my guess is that is is here to remind me of what it did the first time... That life has more meaning than pretty vases, or nice sideboards (although those things are also beautiful and have their place).
I have hit some pretty big unexpected speed bumps this year, which have challenged my CORE.
If you don't know me, you won't know that I am a perfectionist by nature, and I work bloody hard to fit everyone into my already massive schedule because I hate to disappoint anyone. I inherently hate letting people down so much so that this year I have let myself down by not giving myself a break when I most needed it while processing. So I began to paint and journal for emotionally well-being again.
I began this journey as an artist after losing my sister, and it has grown so big that now in honesty I feel some days like I can't put the ugly side of myself onto social media, the hard parts, or the vulnerable parts...but these are the parts that ultimately make me the kick-ass artist I am, because being vulnerable as an artist conveys a message.
I have been so worried that somehow it will offend someone, or make me seem less put together, or less achieved, or like it is somehow wrong to have a moment in your life where you fall apart by recognising I have been experiencing something hard that ultimately affects people everyday so there really is no shame.
I have realised in these few months that it isnt a healthy standard to set yourself, and that social media has absolutely ruined our expectations as a human race by making us feel as though we need to be perfect everyday.
Life just is not all bubbles and rainbows all of the time. And ART has always been my avenue to depict that.
The reality is everyone faces challenges at one point or another, and that doesn't ultimately define you either so don't let anyone tell you otherwise, it just becomes a part of your journey. What I believe can be a beautiful part of your journey...
WHAT IS CRATE ART?
Crate art aka 'Great Art' or art delivered.
My best friend asked me two years ago to sit down with her daughter and draw. (This certain best friend has taught me a lot about myself in life). Anyway we sat down quietly and we drew and created shading on paper of a butterfly, and during this drawing session her beautiful hearted child opened up to me about some things that were a little hard in her day, very naturally, very organically, without any judgement or shame, and my best friend said that's so cool Tab how that happened aye it was just natural. And it was. And it reminded me of how Art helped heal me grieve and heal the first time around.
You see when you put pen to paper, or paint to paper you take yourself away. Away from the struggles, away from the anxiety, away from the judgement...just away. For me anyway I sort of float into this space outside of my head where everything is quiet for a bit, and in those moments of quiet I find it easy to let go of all the troubles that I have.
In the moments when I sat at my sisters hospital bed and I used to paint sunflowers, it was just me self-regulating, and meditating in a sense. And that is the power of Art that I love.
So this year through my string of tears, through my failings, through the ugly side of me that isn't perfect no matter how bloody hard I try Crate Art was born.
I still want to continue doing beautiful homes, and creating beautiful design - because in reality I love nothing more than a Byron inspired home! And those things lift you. But I also want to share the other parts of me which I have learnt from my time as an artist, for anyone who wants to share or learn from it also.
I have had tonnes of people ask me to do art lessons, and the unfortunately reality is I just do not have the time while running a business, being chief mum and all the rest. I have put my custom commissions onto a booking system and now I am introducing the self care component I need, that maybe you need too.
My goal is to take 1 hour out of my day and get back into the art of art making which for me is so healing. These sessions will then be put into classes, or sometimes free info, sometimes just ramblings and musings of an artist so be prepared! You might take something out of it, and you might not...but my hope is this can become a part of my everyday once again, and that even if it reaches one person, and makes them remember the innocence of life again, or lets their mind meditate, that it is all worth it.
So welcome to CRATE ART Click here to connect
MY ARTIST INFLUENCE
'The toad' AKA Jody, my sister
When I was 13 I began painting hospital bedside as my sister who eventually passed went through a terminal illness.
This isn't the sad part of my story but instead the most beautiful, because this little girl who I grieved for taught me possibly the most important lesson I could have in life. That we all have meaning that is more powerful, and more grand, and more epic than anything we could imagine, we just have to tap into the parts of ourselves that at times can be hard, or sad, or beautiful or wondrous, and remember that.
Jody died of mitochondrial disease, but she smiled every single day. She knew the depths of her own soul, and the beauty of her journey and she let me share that with her. I thank her every single day for the blessing of being an artist, and her sister for without this journey it might never have been...
#letterprompts #arttherapy #nzartist #journalling